Starting weight: 190 (BMI: 34.7)
Current weight: 183 (BMI: 33.5)
1st Goal weight: 175 (BMI: 32.0) By: August 7th
2nd Goal weight: 160 (BMI: 30.2) By: Sept.
The Big Goal: 99 (BMI: 18.1) By: Oct.After my last post I worked out and purged everything I had from the BBQ for my Mom's birthday. Thankfully being a vegetarian there is a built in excuse why I ate very little there. I've avoided food since. Babysitting is making it easy to avoid eating. I know purging gets rid of only about 20% of calories but I rather lose 20% then 0%. I've lost few ibs since, thankfully. But how I wish I was at 177 like I was. Well more like I wish I could redo last two weeks cause I know I would of been at my 1st goal and most likely past it. But I guess I can't beat myself up and hang on to it. I gotta let it go if I want to move forward with this and get the weight gone. Good news, no more birthdays coming up. And hopefully that was the last of BBQ's. Now I can go back to avoiding all foods unless I have to eat to keep people off my backs.
Ok, I can't find my glasses. I think I left them over where I babysit. I'll call and see if they are there.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Thursday, 28 July 2011
I may have a job
of babysitting about 9 hours a day. I don't know how much I'll be getting paid but at this point I don't care. It's a job. It's better then nothing. And from looks of it I'll have a seasonal job for next summer. Now, I just have to be worried about this winter cause when the kids I'll be watching go back to school I won't have a job anymore. But when I'm not watching them I can be applying for other jobs for the winter.
Friday, 22 July 2011
So I was just told to get my stuff together
cause my sister is moving back in, maybe..... Really? I'm being kicked out cause she wants to move back in? Then few weeks will pass and she'll leave. Then few months later she'll want to come back.
Well, I think I may found out why I'm not getting any call backs for work. My old manager just warned me about the woman that was above her bad mouths ex employers. She learned this the hard way herself when she left. And another old co-worker learned this the hard way too. As soon as they stop putting her down they got hired.
These are times I just want to bawl my eyes out. These are times when I really see that I have nobody in my corner. It's times like this I realize why I prefer to be alone and like being a loner cause you don't get hurt that way. All I ever wanted in life was to be on my own, in my own place, and be happy. Is that really to much to ask for in life? I never cared to be rich, have the best job, etc. All I just wanted is to survive on my own. I guess I was never meant to be happy.
Anyways, if you don't hear from me, I guess you all know why. I'll update this as soon as possible.
Well, I think I may found out why I'm not getting any call backs for work. My old manager just warned me about the woman that was above her bad mouths ex employers. She learned this the hard way herself when she left. And another old co-worker learned this the hard way too. As soon as they stop putting her down they got hired.
These are times I just want to bawl my eyes out. These are times when I really see that I have nobody in my corner. It's times like this I realize why I prefer to be alone and like being a loner cause you don't get hurt that way. All I ever wanted in life was to be on my own, in my own place, and be happy. Is that really to much to ask for in life? I never cared to be rich, have the best job, etc. All I just wanted is to survive on my own. I guess I was never meant to be happy.
Anyways, if you don't hear from me, I guess you all know why. I'll update this as soon as possible.
Thursday, 14 July 2011
Staling
My weight is not budging at 184 and I don't know why. I've been walking non-stop lately and eating less then 150 calories. I have noticed my weight tends to not go below 180-185 area. Why? I use to be able to with no problem! I know I can get past this. Maybe I need to mix up my walking/jogging. Maybe take another route. I know sometimes our bodies can get use to a workout. I guess you'll call it get use to it. I have noticed to that I am gaining muscle in my legs. Maybe that's the problem. Muscle weights more then fat. Maybe I'm losing fat but gaining muscle instead. I hope that's what it is. I much rather have muscle then fat. Well, I'll just mix up my routine and see what happens in a week.
Job searching is still, well, I rather not talk about it. I already talked enough about it in this blog.
Job searching is still, well, I rather not talk about it. I already talked enough about it in this blog.
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Haven't heard back
So I guess apparently I didn't get the job. Watching a dog for 12 hours a day for about 7.30 a hour would of been nice. And gave me a reason not to be in this house for 12 hours of the day. Only go home to sleep. That would of been great.
So apparently I owe them my life cause I've been here 6 months without a job and once again apparently they could of had someone paying $500. Right..... Apparently they aren't getting it. I have been looking for a job. Along with everyone else in this area. My cousin spent 2 years of non-stop looking for a job in this town and she just finally found one. I don't think they realize just what it's like to look for a job now-a-days. For each job opening there's 100's applying to it cause people are desperate. There's people that where pretty high on the corporate ladder now flipping burgers. But then when you take someone who didn't finish high school and they have to compete with people who have and many who went on to collage. Yeah, not exactly good chances there. Worse I suffer from anthropophobia. People just assume I'm a loner. Which that I am. But I also fear people. It takes a lot for me to get the guts to talk to someone. Even more so interviews. I will confess I do horrible in interviews. I can understand why they wouldn't hire me. I wouldn't. All the jobs I ever had I got hired because I knew someone that was working there. Which made it easy when applying. Still had to do interviews but it made it sooooo much easier because I already got the job. I moved back to this town and I know nobody. Sometimes it's hard to ask for a application. I can do it but it's hard. Same as going up and asking for help. And let's not get talking about calling people I don't know. I can't do it. Very few times I was able too. A lot of friends joke around about how my phone would always go to the answering machine and they would have to leave a message and I would call them back. They think I just hate answering the phone. It's cause I worry about it being someone I don't know really well. But I am slowly improving on that as well. Another reason why I didn't get a cellphone until this past January. Funny cause while I don't miss having a cellphone it was nice having one cause I knew who was calling me. They didn't have to leave a message and wait for me to call them back. If I knew them I would answer. Or they could easily text me.
Wow, who knew having this blog would make me share more stuff then I normally do.
So apparently I owe them my life cause I've been here 6 months without a job and once again apparently they could of had someone paying $500. Right..... Apparently they aren't getting it. I have been looking for a job. Along with everyone else in this area. My cousin spent 2 years of non-stop looking for a job in this town and she just finally found one. I don't think they realize just what it's like to look for a job now-a-days. For each job opening there's 100's applying to it cause people are desperate. There's people that where pretty high on the corporate ladder now flipping burgers. But then when you take someone who didn't finish high school and they have to compete with people who have and many who went on to collage. Yeah, not exactly good chances there. Worse I suffer from anthropophobia. People just assume I'm a loner. Which that I am. But I also fear people. It takes a lot for me to get the guts to talk to someone. Even more so interviews. I will confess I do horrible in interviews. I can understand why they wouldn't hire me. I wouldn't. All the jobs I ever had I got hired because I knew someone that was working there. Which made it easy when applying. Still had to do interviews but it made it sooooo much easier because I already got the job. I moved back to this town and I know nobody. Sometimes it's hard to ask for a application. I can do it but it's hard. Same as going up and asking for help. And let's not get talking about calling people I don't know. I can't do it. Very few times I was able too. A lot of friends joke around about how my phone would always go to the answering machine and they would have to leave a message and I would call them back. They think I just hate answering the phone. It's cause I worry about it being someone I don't know really well. But I am slowly improving on that as well. Another reason why I didn't get a cellphone until this past January. Funny cause while I don't miss having a cellphone it was nice having one cause I knew who was calling me. They didn't have to leave a message and wait for me to call them back. If I knew them I would answer. Or they could easily text me.
Wow, who knew having this blog would make me share more stuff then I normally do.
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
So I was kicked out this morning
Reason being? Because I was looking at apartments. Yep, I think they realized that I'm not going to be here long and they know the whole "we can find someone else to live here for $500" BS doesn't work on me. Please, why would someone pay that much to live in a tiny room when they live in a town where they can get a small apartment for that price? When people rent rooms out in this area it's about $100 (maybe $150-200 to cover bills) they charge. Anyways, they ended up changing their mind so I came back (I guess they figure I'll be on my knees begging for mercy instead of actually packing up and walking out). But my bag is staying packed. I don't trust them. I never had. Never will. And they shouldn't be blaming me cause they want to blow over $200 on drinking and gambling when they know they can't afford it. Even if I was paying rent they still couldn't afford that. Even more so when they have a vehicle that needs to be fixed. It's not my fault they can't be responsible with their own money.
Anyways, I'm off to apply for jobs.
Anyways, I'm off to apply for jobs.
Wow what BS!
I applied for a job as a pet sitter. If I get it it'll be 12 hours a day. I love animals so spending 12 hours with a little dog would be awesome.
Now for the BS. My step sister when living here only paid $250 a month for rent, she paid nothing else. I'm going to have to pay $500 rent plus electric, gas, water, etc. And still clean their dishes, their messes around the house. She hardly ever lifted a finger. They cleaned up after her. They even said they did. Oh and her boyfriend pretty much lived here. He would be here months at a time. Don't get me wrong I get paying rent then help with the extras. But a 10x8 space is hardly worth $500. There's nearby apartments that for $565 I get a good size apartment water included. All I would have to pay for is electricity and phone. And it's just the fact that my step sister only had to pay half what I'll pay in rent and I'm staying in the same room she stayed in. And she didn't pay for anything else like I will. Here's the kicker. They paid for her cellphone..... Even bigger kicker they still were when she moved out and was for months afterwards. At one point she had two cellphones. I gave mine up cause I wouldn't have been able to afford it. And honestly I don't miss it. And she still constantly calls wanting money. She makes more then they do. And yet they hand it over to her. Not once have I ever asked for money since being here. If I don't have the money for it, I don't buy it. Even if I need it. Here I sit with a kidney stone which needs a doctor. But I don't cause I have no way of paying for it. But she wants a new movie, game, or to go on a shopping spree they just hand over the money. I don't expect or want anyone to pay my way threw life. I don't want them to foot my medical bills. But it's the principal of the whole thing. Why is she getting treated differently then me. Then again she gets treated differently then my other step sister. It's like they put her up on this peddle stole and expects everybody to baby her. And yet they wouldn't ever dream of throwing her out into the streets. But I'm facing being homeless. And constantly hearing about how they can get someone in there for 500. Well, if I get this job (crosses fingers and prays) then they can find someone. As soon as I get first and last months rent, I'm gone. Which with the amount of hours it would be it won't be hard to get that much. And since I'm going to end up with two bank accounts I'll just transfer all extra over to my old one (my bank don't have a branch in this area but I love the bank so I'm pretty much just getting one local just to cash my checks kinda thing). I'll just let them think I'm getting paid less then I am and let them think I don't have my old bank account.
P.S.
Dear God, please help me. I need you once again.
Now for the BS. My step sister when living here only paid $250 a month for rent, she paid nothing else. I'm going to have to pay $500 rent plus electric, gas, water, etc. And still clean their dishes, their messes around the house. She hardly ever lifted a finger. They cleaned up after her. They even said they did. Oh and her boyfriend pretty much lived here. He would be here months at a time. Don't get me wrong I get paying rent then help with the extras. But a 10x8 space is hardly worth $500. There's nearby apartments that for $565 I get a good size apartment water included. All I would have to pay for is electricity and phone. And it's just the fact that my step sister only had to pay half what I'll pay in rent and I'm staying in the same room she stayed in. And she didn't pay for anything else like I will. Here's the kicker. They paid for her cellphone..... Even bigger kicker they still were when she moved out and was for months afterwards. At one point she had two cellphones. I gave mine up cause I wouldn't have been able to afford it. And honestly I don't miss it. And she still constantly calls wanting money. She makes more then they do. And yet they hand it over to her. Not once have I ever asked for money since being here. If I don't have the money for it, I don't buy it. Even if I need it. Here I sit with a kidney stone which needs a doctor. But I don't cause I have no way of paying for it. But she wants a new movie, game, or to go on a shopping spree they just hand over the money. I don't expect or want anyone to pay my way threw life. I don't want them to foot my medical bills. But it's the principal of the whole thing. Why is she getting treated differently then me. Then again she gets treated differently then my other step sister. It's like they put her up on this peddle stole and expects everybody to baby her. And yet they wouldn't ever dream of throwing her out into the streets. But I'm facing being homeless. And constantly hearing about how they can get someone in there for 500. Well, if I get this job (crosses fingers and prays) then they can find someone. As soon as I get first and last months rent, I'm gone. Which with the amount of hours it would be it won't be hard to get that much. And since I'm going to end up with two bank accounts I'll just transfer all extra over to my old one (my bank don't have a branch in this area but I love the bank so I'm pretty much just getting one local just to cash my checks kinda thing). I'll just let them think I'm getting paid less then I am and let them think I don't have my old bank account.
P.S.
Dear God, please help me. I need you once again.
Monday, 11 July 2011
Job searching
Starting weight: 190 (BMI: 34.7)
Current weight: 184 (BMI: 33.7)
1st Goal weight: 175 (BMI: 32.0) By: August 7th
2nd Goal weight: 160 (BMI: 30.2) By: Sept.
The Big Goal: 99 (BMI: 18.1) By: Oct.
I'm going to start job searching today. With the rain today I'm going to apply online. Even though it's not raining at the moment but as soon as I have a application in my hand it will start to pour again. And I walk or bicycle anywhere I want to go.
I lost another pound. I got worried yesterday. But I realized it was cause how hot and humid it was yesterday and the day before. I always retain fluid when it's hot, even more so when it's humid. But I jump on the scale today and saw I dropped another pound. Then again I did sweat off the fluid I had build up last night. I kept waking up covered in sweat. So I'm hoping this is a pound of fat and not just water weight.
Went to the beach the other day. Went to a spot that nobody goes too. Swim a little then jump on a trail that's there. Walked for awhile. Loved it.
My Ex now thinks I want to be back with him. HAHAHA! Wow! What a joke that is. Apparently cause I'm pleasant to him when he gets in contact with me makes it that I want him. I never understood his logic on that. I remember once a woman he use to work with had called since he was the one that helped with hiring people and asked if they where hiring again. That's all she asked and wanted to know. As soon as he got off the phone with her "I think she wants me! She called and asked about a job, I know she wants me." Please! She wanted a job, not you, and you help with hiring, duh! It's like whatever I don't want you. It's you that wants me back. Which is why he use to text me asking if I missed him and why he's always drunk messaging me about how horrible his life is now and how it's spiraling out of control since I left. And how he misses having someone. Etc, etc. Now drunk messages I don't reply too. But I have replied to the "do you miss me?" I always replied no. After the 3rd no he stopped. He can't stand the fact that I don't want him and I don't miss him. So he's making up BS. The thing that worries me is that he's feeding this to a woman that's believing him. I don't blame her. He's good at the whole "whoa is me" lines and people do tend to fall for it. And that's what worries me. She apparently broke up with her boyfriend so he's laying it on thick now to her. She's falling for it. I don't want her to get hurt like I did. But he has her convince I'm a complete nutjob (oh if she only knew who really was) so if I was to warn her she wouldn't believe me. I see the games he's playing, the same games he played on me. And I hate seeing another woman get hurt as bad as I did by him. even now every night when I go to bed I have nightmares and it's been 7 months. Sometimes the nightmares are bad enough that I can't sleep rest of the night.
That's about all that's going on in my life at the moment.
Current weight: 184 (BMI: 33.7)
1st Goal weight: 175 (BMI: 32.0) By: August 7th
2nd Goal weight: 160 (BMI: 30.2) By: Sept.
The Big Goal: 99 (BMI: 18.1) By: Oct.
I'm going to start job searching today. With the rain today I'm going to apply online. Even though it's not raining at the moment but as soon as I have a application in my hand it will start to pour again. And I walk or bicycle anywhere I want to go.
I lost another pound. I got worried yesterday. But I realized it was cause how hot and humid it was yesterday and the day before. I always retain fluid when it's hot, even more so when it's humid. But I jump on the scale today and saw I dropped another pound. Then again I did sweat off the fluid I had build up last night. I kept waking up covered in sweat. So I'm hoping this is a pound of fat and not just water weight.
Went to the beach the other day. Went to a spot that nobody goes too. Swim a little then jump on a trail that's there. Walked for awhile. Loved it.
My Ex now thinks I want to be back with him. HAHAHA! Wow! What a joke that is. Apparently cause I'm pleasant to him when he gets in contact with me makes it that I want him. I never understood his logic on that. I remember once a woman he use to work with had called since he was the one that helped with hiring people and asked if they where hiring again. That's all she asked and wanted to know. As soon as he got off the phone with her "I think she wants me! She called and asked about a job, I know she wants me." Please! She wanted a job, not you, and you help with hiring, duh! It's like whatever I don't want you. It's you that wants me back. Which is why he use to text me asking if I missed him and why he's always drunk messaging me about how horrible his life is now and how it's spiraling out of control since I left. And how he misses having someone. Etc, etc. Now drunk messages I don't reply too. But I have replied to the "do you miss me?" I always replied no. After the 3rd no he stopped. He can't stand the fact that I don't want him and I don't miss him. So he's making up BS. The thing that worries me is that he's feeding this to a woman that's believing him. I don't blame her. He's good at the whole "whoa is me" lines and people do tend to fall for it. And that's what worries me. She apparently broke up with her boyfriend so he's laying it on thick now to her. She's falling for it. I don't want her to get hurt like I did. But he has her convince I'm a complete nutjob (oh if she only knew who really was) so if I was to warn her she wouldn't believe me. I see the games he's playing, the same games he played on me. And I hate seeing another woman get hurt as bad as I did by him. even now every night when I go to bed I have nightmares and it's been 7 months. Sometimes the nightmares are bad enough that I can't sleep rest of the night.
That's about all that's going on in my life at the moment.
Friday, 8 July 2011
coffee diet
Starting weight: 190 (BMI: 34.7)
Current weight: 185 (BMI: 33.8)
1st Goal weight: 175 (BMI: 32.0) By: August 7th
2nd Goal weight: 160 (BMI: 30.2) By: Sept.
The Big Goal: 99 (BMI: 18.1) By: Oct.
I manage to drop another pound. I'm calling this my coffee diet. That's all I've been living off of. Just ten more pounds for my first goal. It's a good thing I'm a coffee addict.
I need to find a job, fast. If I don't by next month I'm going to be kicked out and living on the streets. Awesome! (all kinds of sarcasm with that awesome) Problem with this town, when you are homeless you have no place to go. No shelters no nothing. But I guess that's what you get when you live in a town of just a hair over 16,500 people living in it. Not enough homeless people to bother helping. I don't even know if there is any homeless here. Hopefully I find something. Being homeless in -20 to -30 weather isn't my idea of fun. So I ended up spending the night tossing and turning. Got maybe if I'm lucky two hours sleep. And it's not that I haven't been looking. Just few places are hiring and they aren't calling me after I apply. I'm applying everywhere, even if they aren't hiring. Because you never know. I've gotten calls in the past from places that weren't hiring when I applied. Once I get that job I'm saving every penny for first and last month rent and I'm out of here. Once I find a job I'll be paying $500 a month just for my room in this house. That's not including everything else. That's just crazy. I can pay less (about $400-$450) in this town for a whole apartment. And some of them includes water and power with that. And it's not like it's a bad neighborhood because bad neighborhoods don't exist in this town. The "bad" neighborhood here is the one I'm living in now! And trust me after living almost a decade in a really big city in the South, this neighborhood is Mr. Rogers neighborhood in comparison to the one I lived in down South. Let's just say down there while jogging in my area one night I ran into two robbers. I mean literally we ran into each other. And the search helicopter was out every night. And few shootings literally in the alley behind my house. And cops always chasing people down, which they seemed to love running threw my backyard. So, yeah to me this town doesn't have a bad neighborhood. They say where I'm living at now is bad because there is one or two druggies here. And that's it. Anyways, I had to get that off my chest.
Current weight: 185 (BMI: 33.8)
1st Goal weight: 175 (BMI: 32.0) By: August 7th
2nd Goal weight: 160 (BMI: 30.2) By: Sept.
The Big Goal: 99 (BMI: 18.1) By: Oct.
I manage to drop another pound. I'm calling this my coffee diet. That's all I've been living off of. Just ten more pounds for my first goal. It's a good thing I'm a coffee addict.
I need to find a job, fast. If I don't by next month I'm going to be kicked out and living on the streets. Awesome! (all kinds of sarcasm with that awesome) Problem with this town, when you are homeless you have no place to go. No shelters no nothing. But I guess that's what you get when you live in a town of just a hair over 16,500 people living in it. Not enough homeless people to bother helping. I don't even know if there is any homeless here. Hopefully I find something. Being homeless in -20 to -30 weather isn't my idea of fun. So I ended up spending the night tossing and turning. Got maybe if I'm lucky two hours sleep. And it's not that I haven't been looking. Just few places are hiring and they aren't calling me after I apply. I'm applying everywhere, even if they aren't hiring. Because you never know. I've gotten calls in the past from places that weren't hiring when I applied. Once I get that job I'm saving every penny for first and last month rent and I'm out of here. Once I find a job I'll be paying $500 a month just for my room in this house. That's not including everything else. That's just crazy. I can pay less (about $400-$450) in this town for a whole apartment. And some of them includes water and power with that. And it's not like it's a bad neighborhood because bad neighborhoods don't exist in this town. The "bad" neighborhood here is the one I'm living in now! And trust me after living almost a decade in a really big city in the South, this neighborhood is Mr. Rogers neighborhood in comparison to the one I lived in down South. Let's just say down there while jogging in my area one night I ran into two robbers. I mean literally we ran into each other. And the search helicopter was out every night. And few shootings literally in the alley behind my house. And cops always chasing people down, which they seemed to love running threw my backyard. So, yeah to me this town doesn't have a bad neighborhood. They say where I'm living at now is bad because there is one or two druggies here. And that's it. Anyways, I had to get that off my chest.
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