Great

I don't know what to do. I may be pregnant. I've took 4 test but the first one I couldn't even make out. There was like a weird clear line. The second one the blue made a weird blob design at the very top of the circle window thing. So I figure clearly the test where messed up. So, I bought two more and they came back negative. But what if the first two were positive but showed up weird and the second ones where false negatives? I think I might just go out at some point when I have the cash and buy a digital one that litterally says pregnant or not pregnant instead of trying to figure out lines. Going into TMI area! My period was supposed to start on the 31st. It's the 13th, well 14th in a hour. 2 weeks late! But I had the cramps like I do around the time I was supposed to start. Since January my period been weird. At most I was 10 days late though. Normally about 3 days late. At this point I can't change the fact that if I am I am. Now I need to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do! I can't and don't want to keep it, I refuse to let it go to be adopted. Doing that makes it a risk of the child being put into a abusive home. So, only choice is abortion. Which I'm fine with having one. But I can't afford one. As we speak I only have $6 to my name. I was only paid once for babysitting. I have about $120 owed to me for it. Which would help big time in getting a abortion. Next problem is that I would have to travel 236 miles to get to the closet place that does abortions. In this state you have to sign a paper and wait 24 hours. And you have to have someone there with you and for 24 hours afterwards. I certainly can't let anyone in my family in the area know. I would be disowned for this and be on the streets. Only family member I could trust in this is my brother and sister inlaw but in back in Texas about to move to Florida yeah that won't work. Thankfully the man that this all happened with is willing to do anything he can to help. But I've always been the hard headed stubborn one that always took care of my own problems because as far back as I can remember I had too. I had nobody. Plus, I just can't drop the 300-900 plus lodging fees completely on them. After all this is 50% my fault as well. Only person I know in the area that I think would be ok with this and not disown me over it would be my Dad. When my Mother got pregnant with my brother he mentioned about her getting a abortion. She flipped. Of course he's glad now she didn't. But I wonder if 30 years later if he changed his mind about abortion. And if I ask him how he feels about it I know he'll wonder why I'm asking. It's not something we talk about.